Porcelain Throne (Interpret THAT)

This post is written in reference to Sterling's post "I wish I had a muse".

Well, I wish I had a golden toilet.

Why? Why not, I ask you! There is no reason or argument to drive a person either way. What would I do with a golden toilet? Worship it? Sell it? Show it to all my friends who wouldn't believe me when I told them? As the story goes, I later told them that I had a bridge to sell and the bids just rolled in. There is just no practical use of a solid gold, or even gilded, toilet. But then again, why not? What is keeping me from having my own true porcelain throne? There is no reason for it, but I can't help but want one.

The phrase itself is the epitome of absurdity as well as sarcasm. I know this because I am a connoisseur of both (I do however find absurdity much, much more interesting and well received). The image displayed by this saying is absolutely ridiculous. The image becomes a lot more ridiculous when you realize its evolution. The list of changes ranges from throne to latrine and everything in between. The last improvement is found towering above the rest. It is the culmination of all its predecessors, perfected through time. It is the porcelain throne, a gilded masterpiece, a prince among, well... you know.

There is just something inconceivable and intangible that makes "I wish I had a golden toilet" a hallmark and a classic retort. If there was a prize for sarcasm (I'm looking at you, Alfred Nobel), this phrase would be awarded top honors. Yes, I truly wish I had a golden toilet.